The last article I wrote about Easter being special. It was special because my six-month-old grandson, Alex, came to our house. It was his first Easter. It was the first time I saw him crawl.
Along the way, I discovered if I really wanted to communicate with Alex I needed to get on his level. What I mean by that is I needed to get on the floor and get eye to eye with him. I had to travel with him on my hands and knees to see what the world looked like from his point of view.
We played for quite a while on the floor. He showed me stuff and I showed him stuff. He verbalized things that I did not understand, but I know it was him trying to communicate with me. I am sure I said a lot of things to him he could not quite figure out, but both our communications involved an exchange of love.
I do not sit still very well. I tend to always have some kind of project going on. It may be work related or it may be recreational, but I just have a hard time sitting still.
Sometimes I have a difficult time shutting off my mind. So, even if I am trying to watch a television show with my wife, or if I am at a play at the Encore Series, my mind seems to be racing on trying to figure out something, or worried about something that is going on.
I thought it was pretty amazing when I was crawling on the floor with Alex that my total attention was on him. All I cared about was spending that precious time that we had together, one on one.
Alex was at our home Saturday evening and most of Sunday. He went to church. I was that obnoxious grandparent holding my grandson, so proud of him. I feel so blessed to have a grandson. I am so blessed to have that time to spend with him.
It was so interesting after Alex left. I certainly was heartsick that I was not going to see him for a while, but, do you know what I discovered?
I discovered that I had really taken a time out. My mind had been totally on Alex; it was not on work; it was not on projects that I needed to get done; it was on Alex.
For a while, Alex helped me relax. For a while, Alex helped me remember what was important in much of my life.
Many times I have families come to me with so much going on. Perhaps there has been a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s or some other chronic illness. Perhaps there is a situation with an adult child and that child’s marriage. Perhaps there are financial issues. Perhaps there is the prospect of needing long-term care.
My hope is that they will all have an Alex event in their life: a time when they can completely shut down, relax, and enjoy the moment.
Alex is only six months old, but he has already reminded me of a lot of important things in life, such as taking time to be with my family.
Alex, thanks for a great Easter. I am looking forward to many, many more.
Randy Clinkscales of Clinkscales Elder Law Practice, PA, Hays, Kansas, is an elder care attorney, practicing in western Kansas. To contact him, please send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org. Disclaimer: The information in the column is for general information purposes and does not constitute legal advice. Each case is different and outcomes depend on the fact of each case and the then applicable law. For specific questions, you should contact a qualified attorney.