My best friend’s husband is cheating on her. I’ve never liked the guy and suspected he could do something like this, but now I have proof. He’s such scum, I’m so disgusted with him. I know she’ll be crushed when she finds out, but should I tell her? I know she doesn’t know.
This is a challenging question and I’m going to invite commenters to jump in with their opinions…here goes my best attempt…
Short and sweet, the answer to should you tell her is “No”. Believe it or not, some women don’t want to know that their husbands are cheating. Maybe they sense that something is wrong, but aren’t ready to hear the truth. Maybe they don’t like sex and have an understanding that their husband will have his dalliances and she will look the other way. Across the ages, married women have “allowed” their husbands to have mistresses, so long as he continues to support her and the children financially. Personally, I say kick him to the curb, but to each his own…
My opinion to not tell may be skewed, because I had this very situation years ago with one of my best friends. I’d been hearing from her about her husband and his girl-friend. My red-flag intuition went up, but she seemed to have no concerns over their “friendship” and seemed to almost be encouraging this relationship (my friend didn’t like to have sex with her husband). Then, I had the occasion to see her husband and his girl-friend at a party. My friend wasn’t there with her husband and I witnessed this woman flirting all over him and sitting on his lap! I promptly told my friend what I saw and to this day I don’t think she wanted to hear it. I felt she was more concerned over the public display and how it would look to others in the community, than his involvement with the other woman.
Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~
- You know your friend, without giving it too much thought; do you think she’d want you to tell her?
- Do you feel the personal need to tell her, as in, if you don’t you will feel that you are not being true to yourself?
- What might the consequences to your friendship be to either telling her, or not telling her?
- How can you be there for her during this difficult time and those to come?
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Joan Jerkovich is a Board Certified Life Coach who takes your questions on Relationships, Health, Careers, Sexuality and Self Care. No question is off limits! She gives her opinion, then partners with you by submitting Life Coaching questions that will help you move toward health and happiness in your life. Email your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org or arrange a time to talk with Joan in person on her radio talk show at www.joanjerkovich.com
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