Proper Chainsaw Usage This fellow goes to a tool store to buy a chainsaw. The dealer sells him the top-of-the-line model, saying that it would cut through 100 trees in one day. The fellow takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees. After working for 3 hours he only cut 2 trees. “How […]
Today, enjoy at least one song an hour from Led Zeppelin on 96.9 “Like” KFIX on Facebook.
Out Of Chocolate A man approached an ice cream van and said, “I’d like two scoops of chocolate ice cream, please.” The girl behind the counter replied, “I’m very sorry, sir, but our delivery didn’t come this morning. We’re out of chocolate.” “In that case,” the man continued, “I’ll have two scoops of chocolate ice […]
Today, enjoy at least one song an hour from Van Halen on 96.9 “Like” KFIX on Facebook.
Abstract Noun “An abstract noun,” the teacher said, “is something you can think of, but you can’t touch it. Can you give me an example of one?” “Sure,” the teenage student replied. “My father’s new car.” Join fans of 99 KZ Country on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/99KZCountry
Today, enjoy at least one song an hour from Bon Jovi on 96.9 “Like” KFIX on Facebook.
Q: What did mama buffalo say when her youngest went off to college? A: “Bison!” Q: What did the grape say when the buffalo stood on it? A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine! Q: What happens when two single buffalo meet up, fall in love and run away to get married? A: […]
Today, enjoy at least one song an hour from the Steve Miller Band on 96.9 “Like” KFIX on Facebook.
Hamster Care After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they PROMISED they would take care of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the responsibility. One evening, exasperated, she asked them, “How many times do you think that hamster would have died if I hadn’t looked after it?” After a moment, her youngest son […]
Today, enjoy at least one song an hour from Queen on 96.9 “Like” KFIX on Facebook.
A Boring Book Julie stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, “I have a complaint!” “Yes, ma’am?” “I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!” “What was wrong with it?” “It had way too many characters, the printing was tiny, and there was no plot whatsoever!” The librarian nodded […]
Today, enjoy at least one song an hour from Crosby, Stills, Nash & (Sometimes) Young on 96.9 “Like” KFIX on Facebook.
Children and Allergies A little girl was wearing one of those Medical Alert bracelets. Someone asked her what the bracelet was for. She replied, “I’m allergic to nuts and eggs.” The person asked, “Are you allergic to cats?” The little girl said, “I don’t know… I don’t eat cats.” Join fans of 99 KZ […]